Although anxiety may seem foreign to those lucky few born with a calm disposition, those of us who have experienced a panic attack or just a random bout of irrational fear, will find tremendous solace within Daniel Smith’s memoir, Monkey Mind. Monkey Mind is Smith;s memoir of the his own experience with anxiety. The title comes from a Buddhist term of human experience where a person’s mind keeps racing side-to-side with nervousness. Smith writes with such clarity and precision that I wondered if he may have heard my inner thoughts.
Anxiety is not a reaction to events that have already occurred, but the anticipation and apprehension of uncertainty. His personal experiences obviously will not resonate with all readers because they are, after all, personal. Yet, specifically for the Stern College for Women community, his Jewish upbringing with a stereotypical Jewish mother will probably ring some bells. Because Smith’s anxiety is so deep, he will probably be fearful of something that you also have feared. During his moments of deep anxiety, Smith suffered from intense sweating and experiences that may crossover with depression, so it also makes the reader realize the more serious effects of anxiety.
The best part of Smith’s memoir is that it is not written in a depressing tone, but in a humorous one. He reminds himself when thinking about his financial stability and work opportunities that “well-educated, upper-middle class Jews seldom end up sleeping in the dumpster.” The ridiculous thoughts of Smith’s cognitive reality caused me to laugh out loud numerous times. His ability to convey a disheartening topic in an entertaining manner makes this an enjoyable book.
The only section that sticks out like a sore thumb and is uncomfortable for the reader is his retelling of his first sexual experience. His graphic and disturbing relationship with an older coworker is purposely not funny, and does take away from the tone of the memoir. The other aspect of the book that may also disappoint readers is Smith’s omission of “the cure” for monkey minded readers. Although he talks about the different methods to help him, like therapy, he offers no real answer for a fix. The reason he doesn’t offer a fix is for the simple fact that as of now, he himself still suffers from anxiety. That being the case, it would not be surprising if someday in the future he writes a sequel and offers a “cure.”
To cope with anxiety, Smith repeats a few mantras to himself that are applicable to many readers, especially some Stern students. For example, in moments of desperation, Smith advises “the hard work, you discover over the years, is in learning to discern between correct and incorrect anxiety, between the anxiety that’s trying to warn you about a real danger and the anxiety that’s nothing more than a lying, sadistic, unrepentant bully in your head.” These descriptions may help put an upcoming exam into perspective.
This book is really best for those of us who have to tame our anxieties. However, even those who were lucky to always be confident about themselves and the future, will appreciate Smith’s humorous portrayal of his own life and learn more about how the comparatively less fortunate, also known as, the anxious, live.