Articles by Sara Rozner

Stray Craisin Found in Feta Cheese of Salad Bar, Culprit Expelled

salad bar

On the afternoon of March 15th at approximately 3:24 PM, a deafening shriek was heard from the salad bar in the 215 cafeteria. The distressed student (who shall remain nameless because of the sensitive nature of the investigation) ran pell-mell to the mashgiach’s office, knocking down several stacks of pretzels on her way, to report […]

Waiting on Tables, Waiting for Respect


“You have a new table at 42, Sarita.” I go to the fridge to get pickles, coleslaw, ketchup, and mustard, and make my way across the dining room to table 42. About fifteen feet away, I stop. It’s a girl I know from Stern, out to eat with a date. I groan inwardly; I know […]